Topical Jokes: 7/2/2020

  • Nascar driver Corey LaJoie’s #32 car is getting a  “Trump 2020” paint job for NASCAR’s big race Sunday.Not understanding how any of it works, Trump requested that Ivanka start the race by waving her scarf. 

  • According to a new poll,only one-third of Americans surveyed called the United States “the greatest country in the world,” The other two-thirds pleaded for someone to send help. 

  • Walmart is transforming 160 of its parking lots into drive-in theaters. It’s hard to get a good viewing spot since nobody is sure if a shopping cart means that a spot is reserved or wasn’t returned. 

  • The next COVID-19 shortage could be fireworks. The World Health Organization is begging everyone to stop wiping their ass with fireworks. 

  • Walmart is transforming 160 of its parking lots into drive-in theaters. Apparently it wasn’t a hard transition, all they did was wheel out the wall of TVs in electronics.

Published by Jake Mattera

Jake Mattera was a finalist at the Boston Comedy Festival and he is a 3x finalist at Helium Comedy’s Philly’s Phunniest competition. Jake has acted in sketches that have appeared on CONAN and he is featured regularly as a guest on Philadelphia’s top radio shows. He has been invited to perform at many prestigious festivals all over the country, including: Big Sky Comedy Festival, Laughing Skull Comedy Festival, Limestone Comedy Festival, San Francisco Sketchfest, HBO’s Women In Comedy Festival, and more. He has opened for: Dave Attell, Nate Bargatze, Ron Funches, and Roy Wood Jr. among others. You can follow Jake on Twitter @JakeMattera.

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