Topical Jokes: 7/3/2020

  • MLB Cancels 2020 All-Star Game, the first time since world war II. Also cancelled is the popular mascot wet t-shirt contest.

  • On Thursday night, Nike removed all Redskins gear from its online store. “Does this mean we can stop making their gear?” asked a child in one of Nike’s sweatshops. 

  • President Trump is traveling to Mt Rushmore Friday evening for a fourth of July celebration. Trump has already begun asking how much it would cost to get rid of the monument and replace it him him, Melania, Ivanka, and Don Jr.

  • FedEx have asked the Washington Redskins to change their name. The ultimatum: change the name or expect to lose a lot of packages.

  • After demands from it’s major sponsors, The Washington Redskins will consider changing its name. The organization’s first suggested name change, “The Washington All Lives Matter” has already been rejected.

Published by Jake Mattera

Jake Mattera was a finalist at the Boston Comedy Festival and he is a 3x finalist at Helium Comedy’s Philly’s Phunniest competition. Jake has acted in sketches that have appeared on CONAN and he is featured regularly as a guest on Philadelphia’s top radio shows. He has been invited to perform at many prestigious festivals all over the country, including: Big Sky Comedy Festival, Laughing Skull Comedy Festival, Limestone Comedy Festival, San Francisco Sketchfest, HBO’s Women In Comedy Festival, and more. He has opened for: Dave Attell, Nate Bargatze, Ron Funches, and Roy Wood Jr. among others. You can follow Jake on Twitter @JakeMattera.

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