Topical Jokes: 7/3/2020

MLB Cancels 2020 All-Star Game, the first time since world war II. Also cancelled is the popular mascot wet t-shirt contest. On Thursday night, Nike removed all Redskins gear from its online store. “Does this mean we can stop making their gear?” asked a child in one of Nike’s sweatshops.  President Trump is traveling toContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 7/3/2020”

Topical Jokes: 7/2/2020

Nascar driver Corey LaJoie’s #32 car is getting a  “Trump 2020” paint job for NASCAR’s big race Sunday.Not understanding how any of it works, Trump requested that Ivanka start the race by waving her scarf.  According to a new poll,only one-third of Americans surveyed called the United States “the greatest country in the world,” TheContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 7/2/2020”

Topical Jokes: 7/1/2020

A study confirmed that an asteroid impact made the Earth uninhabitable for dinosaurs. Scientists took questions from skeptics and reminded them that 5G wasn’t even around back then. Realtor Group is dropping the term ‘Master Bedroom’ and are now referring to it as ‘primary’ bedrooms, bathrooms. Even more progressive, they are only referring to basementsContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 7/1/2020”

Topical Jokes: 6/30/2020

NASA has developed a wearable dubbed PULSE that vibrates when users are about to touch their face. In other words, NASA invented a sex toy. Uber is reportedly in talks to buy Postmates. Uber messaged post-mates saying their negotiator was on their way and would leave their offer at the door. DC protesters set upContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 6/30/2020”

Topical Jokes: 6/29/2020

A San Diego Starbucks barista who refused service to an unruly woman not wearing a mask has received $78,000 in donations. The barista said he plans to use the money on his two shift drinks. Former NFL MVP Cam Newton has reached agreement on a one-year contract with the New England Patriots. The move isContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 6/29/2020”

Topical Jokes: 6/26/2020

Microsoft is shutting down all of its physical retail stores. The CEO would’ve done it sooner but he was waiting for a message to say it is now safe to shut down. Amazon announced the new name for Seattle’s NHL arena: Climate Pledge Arena. Narrowly edging out the other name, “Same Day Delivery Stadium” AmericanContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 6/26/2020”

Topical Jokes: 6/25/2020

MLB has agreed to an abbreviated 60 game season with a lot of new rules. Instead of spraying champagne after winning a big game, players are encouraged to only spray lysol.  MLB has agreed to an abbreviated 60 game season with a lot of new rules. For instance, if a player gets hit by aContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 6/25/2020”

Topical Jokes: 6/24/2020

Segways will halt production on July 15th, and with that, we’ve defunded the Mall Police ‘Fortnite’ appears to have removed police cars from its game. Not to be outdone, it’s been nothing but rioting and looting in The Sims.  Walmart is under fire for selling All Lives Matter and Blue Lives Matter gear on itsContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 6/24/2020”

Topical Jokes: 6/23/2020

At an airport in Belgium, A UK man was caught trying to smuggle cocaine by hiding the substance in an artificial penis. The TSA became suspicious when the man pulled off his appendage and asked, “are you guys ready to party?” Rumors say the WWE Star The Undertaker is retiring from wrestling. However no chairsContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 6/23/2020”