Topical Jokes: 7/8/2020

Kanye West says he is no longer supporting Donald Trump. Which Kanye’s campaign manager agrees is probably a good thing since he announced that he is running for president.  A quarter of all American newspapers have closed in the past 15 years. Mostly because it’s easier to look at a cellphone in the restroom.  BrooksContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 7/8/2020”

Topical Jokes: 7/7/2020

Harvard will hold all classes online next year but still charge full tuition. Meanwhile, community colleges said just pay us half and we’ll say you went here.  The US is considering banning TikTok. This would strictly be a policy decision and NOT because the President has been struggling to learn one of the dances.  TheContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 7/7/2020”

Topical Jokes: 7/6/2020

Last weekend after Kanye West released a new album, he announced that he was running for president. Don’t get excited, the American people would never elect a president who is so erratic, so narcissistic, and so polarizing.  Last weekend, hot dog eating champion Joey Chestnut set a new world record of eating 75 hot dogs.Continue reading “Topical Jokes: 7/6/2020”

Topical Jokes: 7/3/2020

MLB Cancels 2020 All-Star Game, the first time since world war II. Also cancelled is the popular mascot wet t-shirt contest. On Thursday night, Nike removed all Redskins gear from its online store. “Does this mean we can stop making their gear?” asked a child in one of Nike’s sweatshops.  President Trump is traveling toContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 7/3/2020”

Topical Jokes: 7/2/2020

Nascar driver Corey LaJoie’s #32 car is getting a  “Trump 2020” paint job for NASCAR’s big race Sunday.Not understanding how any of it works, Trump requested that Ivanka start the race by waving her scarf.  According to a new poll,only one-third of Americans surveyed called the United States “the greatest country in the world,” TheContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 7/2/2020”

Topical Jokes: 7/1/2020

A study confirmed that an asteroid impact made the Earth uninhabitable for dinosaurs. Scientists took questions from skeptics and reminded them that 5G wasn’t even around back then. Realtor Group is dropping the term ‘Master Bedroom’ and are now referring to it as ‘primary’ bedrooms, bathrooms. Even more progressive, they are only referring to basementsContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 7/1/2020”

Topical Jokes: 6/30/2020

NASA has developed a wearable dubbed PULSE that vibrates when users are about to touch their face. In other words, NASA invented a sex toy. Uber is reportedly in talks to buy Postmates. Uber messaged post-mates saying their negotiator was on their way and would leave their offer at the door. DC protesters set upContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 6/30/2020”

Topical Jokes: 6/29/2020

A San Diego Starbucks barista who refused service to an unruly woman not wearing a mask has received $78,000 in donations. The barista said he plans to use the money on his two shift drinks. Former NFL MVP Cam Newton has reached agreement on a one-year contract with the New England Patriots. The move isContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 6/29/2020”

Topical Jokes: 6/26/2020

Microsoft is shutting down all of its physical retail stores. The CEO would’ve done it sooner but he was waiting for a message to say it is now safe to shut down. Amazon announced the new name for Seattle’s NHL arena: Climate Pledge Arena. Narrowly edging out the other name, “Same Day Delivery Stadium” AmericanContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 6/26/2020”

Topical Jokes: 6/25/2020

MLB has agreed to an abbreviated 60 game season with a lot of new rules. Instead of spraying champagne after winning a big game, players are encouraged to only spray lysol.  MLB has agreed to an abbreviated 60 game season with a lot of new rules. For instance, if a player gets hit by aContinue reading “Topical Jokes: 6/25/2020”