Topical Jokes: Week Ending 7/20/18

The makers of Crocs have announced they’re coming out with a high-heeled shoe. As a result, some prince will finally be able to find his white trash Cinderella.   Dunkin’ Donuts is partnering with Harpoon Brewery to release a coffee-infused beer. Harpoon said they’re excited to learn the art of making an inconsistent cup ofContinue reading “Topical Jokes: Week Ending 7/20/18”

Topical Jokes: Week Ending 7/13/18

Three more “Game of Thrones” pilots are in the works at HBO, all set in different time periods with different characters and storylines. These shows promise to kill off the most people- their fanbase.   The founder of Papa John’s Pizza used the n-word during a conference call. He later expressed remorse, saying that usingContinue reading “Topical Jokes: Week Ending 7/13/18”

Topical Jokes: Week Ending 7/6/18

President Trump’s upcoming meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin is rumored to be a one-on-one meeting. Since taking office, this is President Trump’s first performance review.   The website offering Official Trump Merchandise is holding a July 4th sale. Buyers get 40% off with coupon code FREEDOM. Items are already selling out, like the popularContinue reading “Topical Jokes: Week Ending 7/6/18”

Topical Jokes: Week Ending 6/29/18

A Minor League Baseball team in Pennsylvania is selling a hot dog wrapped in cotton candy topped with Nerds candies. In other words, Pennsylvania has legalized euthanasia.   A Kentucky distillery warehouse collapsed and damaged thousands of barrels of whiskey. The forklift driver that escaped passed his medical evaluation but failed his DUI test.  Continue reading “Topical Jokes: Week Ending 6/29/18”

Topical Jokes: Week Ending 6/22/18

Apple is updating iPhone software so users’ precise location will be shared in the event they dial 911. It almost could be described as an app that helps police locate racist white women.   An Ohio man was recently arrested after attacking his roommate with a rolling pin. No charges were filed and police hopeContinue reading “Topical Jokes: Week Ending 6/22/18”

Topical Jokes: Week Ending 6/15/18

President Trump predicts that him and Kim Jung Un will solve a ‘big problem,’ have a ‘terrific relationship.’ In other words, they’re doing an escape the room.   On Tuesday, a cow named Char won the “sexiest cow in Britain” award. And with that they also got the cover for next month’s issue of BonContinue reading “Topical Jokes: Week Ending 6/15/18”

Topical Jokes: Week Ending 6/8/18

A new survey says that nearly 7 in 10 Americans have news fatigue. Which means that an astounding 3 out of 10 Americans are in a coma.   IHOP says it’s changing name to IHOb. As in International House of Bad Choices.   President Trump uninvited the Philadelphia Eagles to the White House and, justContinue reading “Topical Jokes: Week Ending 6/8/18”

Topical Jokes: Week Ending 6/1/18

A Federal Court judge ruled that President Trump cannot block accounts on Twitter. Trump’s lawyer responded by asking, “what if we offer them $130k?”   At Napa Valley’s BottleRock music festival, Snoop Dogg set the Guinness World Record for mixing the largest glass of gin & juice. Immediately following, Snoop set another world record forContinue reading “Topical Jokes: Week Ending 6/1/18”

Topical Jokes: Week Ending 5/25/18

A man was arrested for urinating on a seat during a Frontier Airlines flight. The remaining passengers called what happened- an improvement.   A sinkhole has opened up on the White House lawn. Or as CNN reported it, Trump is literally destroying the White House.   Prince Harry didn’t shave before the wedding. The pressContinue reading “Topical Jokes: Week Ending 5/25/18”

Topical Jokes: Week Ending 5/18/18

Today is the one-year anniversary of the start of Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation. The FBI got him a cake but when Mueller blew out the candles he noticed that one of them was a microphone   Today was Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg’s birthday. I only knew that because I got a notification saying, “Write onContinue reading “Topical Jokes: Week Ending 5/18/18”